Why Writing Isn’t my First Priority

And maybe shouldn’t be yours.

My husband came to me this morning and asked, “Are you writing today?” I said “Yes” and told him about the two outlines, a draft, and which chapter of one of my books I wanted to work on. He gave a little sigh, said, “Ok” and started to turn away. Quickly, before he could walk back into the house, I asked, “Why?” “Oh, nothing.” He said. “I just wanted to talk to you.” He started back up the steps. “Stop!” I said. “Please stay. You always come before my writing. Talk to me.” And he did.

I left the conversation feeling appalled. Not due to the subject matter, but because my husband appeared to believe that writing is my priority. I take for granted that everybody knows that family comes first. Maybe not extended family. I have a huge extended family.

My Priorities

My priority lies with my core family. My husband, our kids. I put them even above myself. I have had to learn self-care over the years, if only to better care for my family. I still haven’t been able to put myself first. I know the saying goes, “You can’t take care of anybody else until you first take care of yourself.” I practice self-care, just after I care for them. This is just how I’m wired.

I guess because I live with this knowledge 24/7, I assume everyone else knows it, too. You know…